Assault Rifles

So, the National Rifle Association is opposed to a ban on assault rifles. Ho-humm, what a surprise. I know the second amendment guarantees the right to bear arms. Sure, if you are trying to take a bear’s arms, you’ll probably need an assault rifle. (Ho-ho-he, homonyms can be fun for me). C’mon guys, how can you support the proliferation of assault weapons? Even you have to agree that a line must be drawn somewhere... ___________________________. Look, there’s one right there. A right to bear arms? OK, but machine guns, grenades, tanks, and nuclear arms? If you say we don’t have the right to our own personal nukes, then you have drawn a line.
Now I agree that most social ills are the result of problems within the family and not because of guns. But when dad comes home drunk and ma shoots him, doesn’t that create a family problem?

The N.R.A. is also opposed to registering their guns. They’re afraid that if the "commies" take over that there will be a handy list of gun owners to go hunt down and disarm in order to crush the resistance. First of all, there aren’t any "commies" left. And the ones that are left certainly can’t afford to bankroll a hostile takeover of America. Like Castro is going to get his boys together, load up on their innertubes, float up and attack Florida. We could pretty much fend them off with a sharp stick and a couple of b.b. guns. Second of all, if I’m the commie leader and I just took over this country of capitalist pigs, I wouldn’t need a list of registered gun owners. I would send my boys to the N.R.A. headquarters to get a master membership list from the files. Where else could I obtain a handier list of patriotic gun totting zealots?
Let’s recap. The N.R.A. is against an assault weapons ban, against registering guns, and even against restrictions on cop killer bullets. I’m surprised they are not against the de-clawing of pets. "Animals have the right to keep and bear claws." But these claws killed twenty mice. "Hey, claws don’t kill mice. Cats kill mice." What about these semi-automatic cop killer assault claws? "They need those for hunting."

These N.R.A. guys defend the second amendment ‘til the cows come home. But, they don’t seem to care much for the first amendment. For instance, they want to tell us we don’t have the right to buy a Hustler magazine. "Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. Now pornography, that kills people." Man, they draw their lines in weird places.
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BY TOM SIMMONS AND COSTAKI ECONOMOPOULOS